The Girlfriend's Guide to Jonah Hex

I realize this is VERY late. Due to a series of events, to include a mild case of writer's block and a trip out of country, I had to take some time off, but now I'm back and better than ever! I finally watched the Jonah Hex movie, and due to massive disappointment, this article will not contain any spoiler alerts, even though for Jonah Hex fans (and if you're a Hex fan, you've probably already seen it anyway), there may be a few spoilers.

The Players:

Jonah Hex: As a general rule, Hex is not one of the more complex characters in the DC Universe. The story of his life takes place in Civil War era America. Sold into Apache slavery as a child by his father, his face was badly mutilated. After saving the Chief from a mountain lion attack, he was made a member of the tribe and taught his very formidable fight skills. He later fought for the South during the War of Northern Aggression, and upon completion of the war, rode west to become a very successful bounty hunter. To my knowledge, he never died and was resurrected, nor did he possess the ability to speak to the dead. There was a short lived series known as Hex where he was transported to the year 2050, but this is mostly disregarded by writers and fans alike as not a regular part of continuity, and is never referenced in the current Jonah Hex story, making it completely irrelevant.

Lilah/Tallulah Black: Tallulah was a character introduced in 2007, shown to be a frontierswoman who was raped and horribly mutilated by the same men who killed her family. Hex rescued her in one of his more altruistic moments, and helped her to gain revenge (and of course, bounties) on the men. Afterward, she as well turned to a life of bounty hunting, and eventually Hex briefly took her as a lover and impregnated her, though he was unaware of this. She sought out a quiet town to hide and raise their child, but the child was killed by a religious fanatic believing it was the spawn of Satan. Tallulah was never represented in the comics as a "woman of ill-repute", nor was she attractive due to the severe mutilation. I can, however, understand how, by casting Megan Fox to play her, they decided to go the hooker route with the character. It still doesn't make it right.

Quentin Turnbull: This might be the closest to accurate the movie came. He was not the man to scar Hex's face, however Hex was indeed responsible for the death of his son Jeb, causing him to wish to take out vengeance on Hex. He was generally a son of a bitch, but that is pretty much the extent of the "layers" of this character.

To tell the truth, that is more than anybody needs to know about Jonah to enjoy his comics. They are truly beautiful in their simplicity, and nearly every story is contained to a single issue. The movie appeared to me to try and make the character much more complex by having the U.S. military bring him in to stop his "arch-nemesis" Turnbull, who was recurring in the comics, but not to a degree that he could truly become a nemesis. Initially I questioned Hex's use of twin gatling guns on his mount, but after further research discovered that historically, that was sound. The idea of a city killing weapon such as that used in the movie, however, was one more ridiculous point in a thoroughly ridiculous movie. I advise that you find out for yourself, as I realize I am biased by the overwhelming inaccuracy of the film, but in my opinion, this ranked as one of the worst comic based movies I have ever seen.

On a brighter note, however, 2011 will prove to be a HUGE year for the comic movie genre, and I hope to get a jump start by providing guides for Green Lantern, Captain America and Thor in the very near future!